My story is very long and complicated so I will be brief. Some details, as with anyone, are intimate and might be misunderstood. I would discuss all details if the opportunity to resolve my situation presents. I began hearing audible voices claming to be people in November 1985. (I had heard them before in 1977 in Washington, DC but they stopped.) I have heard them continuously since 1985. They first described their presence in my life in Riverside, California, as “mild harassment” and “hostile surveillance”. I attempted suicide in 1986 about one year in. I was resuscitated. I used to enjoy life and anticipated success or at least the pursuit of happiness. I have resigned myself to surviving and probably would have accepted the national security implications of my conscription if they hadn’t begun to double speak and dishonor me in a process I refer to as being made a scapegoat. I do understand the concept of ‘for the greater good of the people’. It is the personal dishonor I have been unable to accept. The experiences I relate are bizarre, but are my attempt to communicate with others experiencing similar problems. I have voices as thought always, now dictating every word of this story. I feel DID as a survival mechanism. I feel possessed, body and soul. It is do or die for me. I do not have autonomy of thought or bodily function. I am imprisoned internally and by the images of harm to all those I know or care about as well as anyone in proximity. I cannot decide what to describe about living on a “party line” in my head so I will append the experiences I have already posted publicly:Here is some experience of mine for comparison. I hear voices at an audible level making me aware I have no privacy or solitude. In an effort to block them, I put my fingers in my ears. I then hear them just as audible but like putting my head under the bath water and listening. I hear a perp commenting on whatever, I begin to defend myself, and I then discover my “inner voice” guiding me is also a perp. When I challenge this one, the personality becomes audible and another perp becomes my “inner voice”. Two audible aggressors and one sub audible. This can continue as long as the perps want with as many voices as they want. The sub audible thought transmission is sometimes not even a voice. My brain understands the information and my perps are proud of their achievements. With the level of audible harassment everywhere I go, everyone around me is aware something is happening. Law enforcement has begun an investigation, however, their attitude has been to go through me and not to me, treating me just as bad as the perps. The Law enforcement involvement is more than six years now with previous involvement in California some seventeen years ago. Almost as if I was not fit for human research or even to live. “Get off the planet”, one of them said to me.
Why do they set up one someone and their family and operate for decades? Any short term research goal could be achieved and research terminated without long term effects to a specific group of people. The current way of operating causes cumulative damage to the same people causing much more harm to these people than the product of the research would justify. This “scratch itch” cycle also causes the perps to be concerned, because their research would be considered criminal and illegal and the penalties severe, they are more dangerous to their victims and to the witnesses to their operations. I am many decades into wondering why and waiting for some other outcome than being used for target practice. To try and go public to try and shape the outcome and warn others is all I can think to do at this time.
I know I am involuntary research subject because they told me so. They give me the symptoms of schizophrenia to discredit me. They cover their operation by announcing they’re conducting an investigation of a fleeing felon. Everyone was (and still are) afraid of them so I am alone. In 1985 while staying at a motel on business in Portland, OR, they woke me by calling my name and then said they could control my heart. Fast, and it pounded, slow, and it returned to normal then even slower. They showed me they could control my heart. Later in that year they gave me another demonstration, they said they could see through my eyes. They said pick up any book and try to loose us. Dart your eyes to words on the page and change pages while trying to loose us by focusing or blurring your vision and we will read every word you focus on. They showed me they could see through my eyes and they still do, more than eighteen years continuous. I have near sightedness, so if I have retinal implants, my eye doctors should have seen them. They can do much more than just these symptoms. I will try and describe more, hopefully, for the record.
This should be enough information for others to form their own opinion.
Struggling for a honorable outcome,
James StrattonReceived 02-10-2004